Money Lessons to Unlearn 🤔💭

Money. 💸 The forever family conversation topic. It doesn’t matter if we’re talking about jobs, vacations, or groceries, somehow the topic always circles back to money. The moment it comes up, my parents’ eyes light up like slot machines. 🎰 They’re ready to drop their two cents (and usually a whole loonie's worth🪿🍁) of advice. Passionate? Always. Solicited? Rarely. 😅

Honestly, take my parents anywhere and it instantly turns into a finance seminar. A day out at Toronto Centre Island? They’re calculating the ferry company’s daily profit margins. Lunch at a sushi spot? They’re breaking down the cost of salmon sashimi and debating which supermarket sells the same fish for half the price. 🍣Sometimes I thought I couldn't take them anywhere. 🥲

So yeah, I basically grew up with the family anthem “Save, Don’t Spend” playing on repeat. It shaped the way I thought about money in every way possible. I overanalyzed every purchase, mine, my friends’, strangers’… everyone’s. Before I knew it, I’d somehow become the unsolicited financial advisor in my friend group. (Note to self: definitely a future blog post 😂).

University was when things started to shift. 🎓 I learned that it was okay to question things, to dig deeper than “just because it’s the way we’ve always done it.” Yay Critical Thinking 🌟 Naturally, I turned that lens toward money. Watching my parents manage finances gave me massive admiration. They came to a new country, raised a family, bought a home, and built everything from scratch. Achieved the Canadian Dream! 🍁

But with that gratitude came a realization. I didn’t want to just copy their path; I wanted to evolve it. That’s where my unlearning began.

1️⃣“Pay off your debt ASAP”💸

My dad had one ultimate money rule: never owe anyone a dime. He lived by that completely. My parents hustled hard and paid off their mortgage in 20 years. That’s impressive and for them, absolutely the right move. They were determined to clear that debt as fast as possible. Every penny mattered. Vacations didn’t happen, dinners out were rare, and we would wait until the end-of-day sale at FoodyMart to get half-priced sushi. 🍣 My sister and I would happily enjoy our sushi while my parents ate leftovers from the night before.

Growing up with that mindset taught me discipline, but it also made me curious. I started diving deep into personal finance—reading books, listening to podcasts, watching anything related to money. The more I learned, the more I realized that not all debt is bad debt. There is emotional debt, the kind that keeps you worried at night, and there is strategic debt, the kind that can actually help you grow.

Sometimes paying off your mortgage early isn’t about numbers, it’s about peace of mind. And that’s valid. But for those comfortable with the math and willing to take calculated risks, debt can become a tool for wealth. 📈 Strategies like investing, refinancing, or using the Smith Manoeuvre can make your money work smarter. That's how the rich stay rich an how the the poor become rich!

My parents believed no debt meant peace. I’ve learned that the right kind of debt can mean opportunity. 🧠 Let’s keep learning, expanding what we know, and making choices based on understanding rather than fear.

2️⃣“Your house is an investment”🏡

Ah yes, the classic generational mantra. The one that gets passed down at every family dinner and holiday gathering. Everyone over 50 has said it at least once: “Buy a home, it’s the best investment you’ll ever make.” For their generation, it made sense. Buying a home used to be the clearest path to wealth and stability. Prices were lower, incomes stretched further, and property values rose steadily without the kind of volatility we see today. It truly was a golden era for real estate.

But here’s the truth that often gets left out. A house is only an investment if you plan to sell it....SHOCKING! 🫢 If you live in it forever, that shiny million-dollar valuation is just a nice number on paper. 📝 You can’t spend those walls. Meanwhile, the real, physical costs — property taxes, insurance, utilities, and maintenance — quietly nibble away at your “returns.” Paint needs refreshing, roofs age, and the furnace always seems to break at the worst possible time. These aren’t tiny details; they add up year after year.

Here’s the thing though: none of this means buying a house is a bad idea. It just means we need to stop pretending that it’s automatically the smartest investment for everyone. Sometimes homeownership is more emotional than financial, and that’s perfectly fine. 🏠💖 A home provides security, privacy, and a sense of belonging. A home is something you can’t measure on a spreadsheet.

It comes down to your why. Are you buying for comfort, control, or family stability? Then great, buy your dream house and love it. Are you buying because you think it’s the only path to wealth? Then it might be time to revisit that assumption. Real estate today doesn’t behave like the market our parents knew. Incomes haven’t kept pace with housing prices, and interest rates rise and fall faster than the paint can dry on a new build. I've experienced it 🥲 The game has changed, even if the advice hasn’t.

That’s why modern homeownership is more about lifestyle than profit. It’s about aligning your purchase with your goals and not just repeating what worked decades ago. If your dream life includes freedom, flexibility, or travel, you might be happier renting and investing differently. 🧳☕

If you want to dig deeper into this, I break it all down in Rethinking Home Ownership. The bottom line? Owning property can still be a great move, but it’s no longer a guaranteed wealth-builder. The real value lies in how it supports your life and not just your balance sheet.

3️⃣“More work = more money”

My parents were the original hustle generation before hustle culture was ever a trend. 👟 They didn’t need motivational podcasts or productivity hacks. Their version of “rise and grind” was literal. Twelve-hour workdays, seven days a week, and of course every holiday too because holidays meant 1.5x pay. Vacation and PTO simply didn’t exist. Their formula was straightforward. Every extra hour meant a little more income and one step closer to stability.

They were tough, resilient, and relentless. And honestly, I admire that level of commitment. It’s because of that grind that I even have the opportunities I do today. But growing up watching that intensity also taught me something important. Constant work might build survival, but it doesn’t always build peace.

Now compare that to me. My 30-year-old body creaks after sitting at a desk for three hours. 😩 One long meeting and I’m ready for a chiropractor and a nap. But the difference isn’t just physical. Our version of work today is built in a completely different world. Their hustle was born from necessity. Ours can be built with choice. That is exactly what inspired me to write I Work Hard, But Don’t Know Hard Work.

These days, “working hard” has evolved. It’s no longer just about clocking the most hours or sacrificing weekends. It’s about working smarter, building systems, and letting money pull some of the weight for you. Passive income streams, investing, digital automation, online businesses, or even real estate — these are the modern tools that can help create the same sense of security our parents worked so hard for. 💪💰

It doesn’t mean we’re lazy or ungrateful. It means we’re redefining what productivity and success look like for our generation. Work well, earn efficiently, and make time to live more. Because unlike our parents’ definition of success, we’re not only chasing financial stability, we’re also chasing presence, health, and freedom. And that, honestly, is the shift worth celebrating. ✨

4️⃣“Save every penny” 🪙

My parents were what I like to call professional savers, though some might call them cheapstakes🫢. Okay, let’s not insult them. They weren’t trying to be stingy. For them, it wasn’t about growing money, it was about holding onto it. And to be fair, I totally understand why. When you’ve built your entire life from scratch in a new country, you cling to what you can control. Saving felt safe, and safety was everything.

Because of that mindset, we lived very frugally. Eating out was rare, birthdays were quiet, and bubble tea, even when it cost just $1.50 🧋, was considered way too expensive. I still remember going to Pacific Mall with a friend and eyeing the curry fish balls on the first floor (IYKYK). They smelled amazing, and I swear they called my name. My friend and I looked at my dad and said, “we’re hungry.” Without missing a beat, he replied, “let’s go home and eat.” 💀 That was that. No curry fish balls for us that day. We parted ways like old lovers, me promising to reunite when I was older and could pay for them myself. 😂We did indeed reunite, don't worry!

Saving is important, no doubt about it, but there’s a fine line between being careful with money and being afraid of it. Over time, I started realizing that when saving becomes automatic and spending starts feeling like failure, the joy slowly disappears. Even now, I still catch myself feeling guilty when I spend on nice things, like I need to justify every purchase.

But some of the best parts of life happen when we spend with purpose. A dinner with friends, a good cup of coffee, a restful weekend, or something small that simply makes you happy like a good cup of tea.🍵 Money isn’t supposed to sit in hiding forever. It’s meant to circulate, to grow, and to create comfort when you need it.

So yes, save wisely, but don’t forget to enjoy the fruits of your labour too. Let’s not penny pinch (and since Canada said goodbye to pennies, let’s not nickel pinch either 😅). Save smart, but celebrate often. Life’s too short to hoard happiness.

5️⃣“Always buy the cheapest option” 🚗

In my family, the shopping motto was simple and sacred: if there’s a cheaper option, that’s the one you buy. No questions asked.

When I got my first full-time job, I was so proud and excited. I finally had an income, a sense of independence, and a strong determination to stop relying on what is apparently “North America’s best transit system” — the TTC. 🚌😭 (Anyone from Toronto knows that phrase is a stretch…)

My commute was ridiculous. What should have been a quick 20-minute drive took me an hour and a half by transit because I lived way too far east. I had to transfer twice, sometimes three times, took routes that made zero sense, and spent more time waiting at bus stops than actually moving. So yeah, I was ready for my big girl purchase — a car! 🚗✨

The day I told my parents about my plan, my dad went to the dealership the following day. He came back proudly with a Hyundai (not Toyota, gasp! 🤯) catalogue, circled the base model with his pen, and slid it across the table like he was revealing the best financial deal of the century. That was it. Decision made. No questions, no test drives, no “what features do you want?” Just the cheapest car on the list. 😂

My parents’ frugality helped them survive and thrive when times were tough. But over time, I’ve learned there’s a difference between being practical and being penny-blind.

Sometimes, paying for quality, comfort, or safety is worth every single penny. My Volkswagen Jetta, for example, wasn’t the cheapest, but it literally saved my butt (and probably my life) with those nice safety features. I was a new driver, ok? 🐹🎀

My parents’ money lessons built the foundation I stand on, and I’ll always be thankful for that. ❤️ They taught me discipline, resourcefulness, and resilience. But foundations are meant to evolve.

Their financial playbook worked beautifully in their time: minimal debt, maximum savings, predictable stability. Mine requires flexibility, critical thinking, and sometimes taking the unconventional path.

We don’t have to absorb every lesson! The goal isn’t to reject what we’re taught, it’s to understand it, challenge it, and adapt it to fit the world we’re living in today.